We all know that our relationship has a huge impact on our children, and we know that because we personally witnessed the outcome of our parent's relationship and the way that relationship shaped us.

Parents

We were observing our parents, we know that feeling when they were bitter towards each other, we know that feeling when they are arguing all the time, some children even witnessed physical violence between the parents. It doesn’t feel good, right? It was so wrong, we were so small to cope with those overwhelming emotions when watching them, so we know, we know we shouldn't do that, we know we should be mindful of our behaviour in front of our children. We also know the beautiful, wonderful days we had with our parents when they were loving towards each other.

What makes a difference?

It makes a difference, right? How have you felt when they were fighting? How have you felt when they adored one another? Think of your children now, what is the memory which has shaped you as a person and what do you want your child to remember?

When partners have a good relationship, they tend to spend more time together which ultimately gives children a chance to spend quality time with their parents. Small things like going out together, having lunch together, playing together and reading together - have a significant impact on the way your child is going to look at life, relationships and given challenges. Why have I mentioned challenges?

“When partners are caring towards each other, they are more likely to deal with life challenges in a calm and respectful manner.”

This behaviour will set a model for your children to follow. When children feel good and not threatened by everyday situations, they are more likely to approach life from a healthy perspective, stay longer in education, and look for healthy relationships, because they feel supported and happy in their homes.

Unfortunately, when the family is dysfunctional children tend to emotionally withdraw, they will avoid coming home which will ultimately reflect on their behaviour, they will look for a way out, an easy way out, some of them will look for relationship escapes, some of them may engage in delinquent behaviour and most of them will reduce the years they spend in academic institutions in order to be able to focus on work which will provide them with financial stability so they can leave the family household as early as possible.

Parents should know that they shouldn't hide everything from children - children should know that life is not perfect, neither are relationships, but you should also find the right balance and make sure that the relationship you have with your partner cannot leave a lifelong consequence upon your child. If all of your efforts to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner fail, staying in a relationship, by all means, is not something you should do.